


A Story of the Long Dark Way

by Alcath



Series: Keith was fire [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And Lotor was a possessive git who would never have let it happen, But from the POV of someone who was left behind, Canon up till mid 3rd season I think, Gen, I say Keith mentioned but really it's about him, Is it Character Death when the character isn't dead but others don't know, Keith was just too busy fighting bad Aliens, Lance & Lotor peacock fight why are they like this, M/M, Oops poor baby, People are biiiiitter but it's a darker 'verse that's expected, Seriously read it first it'll be easier for you, Technically it can be read after chapter 1 of The Valley was Filled with Tears, The Voltron team isn't almighty but we love them anyway (I'm looking at you Matt), Time Travel, Unrequited Love, Well not so sure about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 13:52:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14190390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alcath/pseuds/Alcath
Summary: Lance trusted Lotor to keep Keith safe. Bruised and messy with dirty white hair no longer pulled into a loose bun or bloody and on the verge of passing out but oh so alive. Keith was a true warrior, had been since the very beginning when they were still fumbling and failing to grasp what was asked of them.





	A Story of the Long Dark Way

**Author's Note:**

> So people asked me what happened in the Crunch Universe after Keith died/left/whatever, so here it is!  
> Thks for those who kudoed and commented(!)the "prequel"! You guys are so nice! :)

When the news reached them, the first reaction was disbelief. Surely it was not true - just a bad prank, a terrible, cruel one but a mere joke all the same.

The radio silence from the last quintents was not worrying as it was not unheard of for members so far away to miss their weekly report. With the Empire breathing down their necks, no one could predict what could happen in this part of the universe; uncertainty loomed large over their heads and as Haggar got more desperate, every mission became more dangerous than the last one.

Not that they were doing any better and like her, they would do anything to see her destroyed.

Go big or go home as he used to say. And since there would be no going back home, they could only do one thing and hope for the better each and every time they sent agents away. So – and despite the countless sleepless nights and death lurking closer and closer - go big it was.

As such, the lack of communication was not alarming – no matter the snide remarks of the tiny voice in the back of his mind, taunting him and whispering accusingly that it should have been him out there.

They had been gone for some phoebes now – five months, almost six – and their last transmission was three weeks ago when they had left Aldaitra’an after having secured a trade agreement with the locals. Lance had been too busy at that time and thus unable to join in when they had last reported but Matt’s angry rants about “that stupid snake’s face” had been enough for him to be thankful he had not been part of that Council session.

Lotor had been insufferable and deliberately ignored half of the Council present that day, preferring to go on and on about the planet culture, what had last caught his attention and gush about his team’s efficiency and their fruitful negotiations.

As usual Allura had been the only one able to stop him when he gloated over their success - one of the reasons why she was in charge of this specific duo - and questions about the agro-industry of this world had been finally asked. Lance had not needed to be there to know that a smug smile had been sitting on Lotor’s lips.

It had also been so easy to imagine the faint blush of Keith’s cheeks, so easy to piture how his long-suffering attitude had been undermined by the pleased flush and glowing pride at the former prince’s words.

Lance did not have to like Lotor to know that he would never let harm befall Keith; so he set aside his own feelings and refused to acknowledge how his stomach churned at the thought of Keith out there with no real backup. Three weeks was not unusual, not for them at least. Their contacts with the Lion Castle were sporadic at best and that was under normal circumstances. Given that the last step of their six-month mission consisted in reconnaissance and infiltration, the silence was not surprising; almost expected even.

So, they resumed their own business without a second thought because it _was_ normal. With Adrus’s destruction, Allura did everything in her power to maintain the stability of the Voltron Realm while the technological and fighting divisions were left to Matt and Shiro respectively. And with Keith absent, Narti had taken over his duty supervising the treatment and accommodation for the sick and wounded in addition to her own; namely the training of new soldiers.

As for him, he spent his days trying to provide for all possible contingencies, analysing and plotting not only their next attack but also planning their defences. Adrus’s annihilation was a veritable drawback and a terrible wakeup call. Letting refugee planets unattended was no longer possible – hence the heap of reports in his room, for the most part briefings written by Narti with the help of Kova regarding officer postings.

Funnily enough, it happened during a meeting he was presiding. At first puzzled by the presence of the two Blade’s Tacticians in the room – they usually preferred to stay in their own headquarter and use holograms in their stead – he had shrugged it off and nodded politely in their direction before focusing on the other delegates and especially on the newcomers; two Albatrosians too busy looking down their nose at the Blades to notice him.

Let it be said that Lance had nothing against new allies – it would be suicidal at that point – but after so many years spent at the front of the battlefield plotting the Empire’s demise, his patience regarding conceited upstarts had considerably shrunken.

He was busy calling them out and brutally teaching them their places – listening, learning, making their damn best to save lives, _not_ looking down upon allies – when a panting Balmeran rushed into the room interrupting him mid-sentence much to the relief of the Albatrosians, their hairless, translucent heads now ashen, the porcelain-like hue of their skin replaced by a yellowish grey colour in stark contrast with the red marking crossing their faces.

“N-ne-ah ah- News from the Epsilaz sector, Generals.”, he stuttered in between big gulf of air and even Narti paused in her tapping as the Balmeran was given their full attention, “Report said there was-ah… an explosion near the planet ABT-220-ah. That was the last place where the Red Lion and her Paladin were seen, sir. Marks of struggle and an abnormal amount of quintessence were registered. Queen Allura is waiting for you and General Narti at the Bridge! This is an emergency.”

After that it had been a rush of colours, noise and information, Lance’s previous anger long forgotten and in its stead a tsunami of despair and distress. Contrary to the buzzing in his head, the sound made when his aching heart had shattered was painfully and jarringly clear.

What had been left of it anyway.

Then had come denial because what the reports described was impossible. It could not be possible. Not now, not after having suffered so deeply and seen the universe take so much from them that Lance did not know if they still possessed something to give. They had to be lucky from time to time, hadn’t they? Well, it was one of those moments! They were the Legendary Defenders, the protectors of the Universe after all and Keith would come back to them like he always did.

It was just a mistake. The Epsilaz sector was not a problem, Keith and Lotor were more than capable of infiltrating the Galran base there without being noticed. It was not their first time doing so and it would not be their last.

_Keith was all right._

Lance trusted Lotor to keep Keith safe. Bruised and messy with dirty white hair no longer pulled into a loose bun or bloody and on the verge of passing out but oh so alive. Keith was a true warrior, had been since the very beginning when they were still fumbling and failing to grasp what was asked of them. Keith would outlast them all and what started as a joke between Hunk and his younger self was nowadays their grim reality.

Keith was an inferno that swept through everything in his way, survived and grew stronger no matter what. As dangerous and out of control as fire, Keith bent but never broke. 

_Everything was fine._

Lance was an addict in denial. In fact, he had always been damn good at avoiding reality and was a connoisseur of the fine art of turning a blind-eye to his problems until they fade away. Some things took more time than others – his pain to name but a few – but Lance was anything if not motivated. Like an ostrich that wanted to hide away from the world, Lance had buried his mind underneath a mountain of lies – everything was _not_ fine – and kept himself busy with work.

They were Voltron and the Universe took precedence over his petty problems.

For the second time in less than a month, they had held their breath and focused back on their duties.

 _He will come back_ , he had convinced himself. _Red's also there to make sure that he's not hurt_ , the tattered remnants of their connection assured him of this fact.

And as he worked himself to sleep, accumulating meetings, new strategies and just two inches from falling apart at the seams, he forgot the small void forming within him. He managed to take no notice of his shaky hands caused by exhaustion nor did he acknowledge the throbbing pain as his forehead burnt. He drew comfort from the dark coldness creeping up his heart and freezing his veins. Blue’s element was ice and he was long used to the chill associated with being her paladin.

It was a soothing semblance of normality.

The team was running on fumes for all to see, the crew only finding solace in the fact that Shiro’s own anxiety was more controlled than his or Allura’s. It had been one month since they had first heard about the accident and as time went on without any news from Keith or Lotor, it was more and more common to see Allura snapping at people. Tofva seemed to make a bolt for the door every time he caught sight of Lance and, usually, the latter would have felt bad for the young Albatrosian diplomat – no matter how scarred and changed, the Blue Paladin never liked being the reason behind someone’s distress - but he was too tired to play the part of the friendly general.

Always having to be happy, always smiling and spreading inspiring words for the newcomers, always concealing the fact that they were a mess, that Voltron was in shambles and that they had started to lose this war years ago.

He was fed up with pretending that everything was all right when it was clearly not the case. Keith’s disappearance was only the visible part of the problem and Lance was no longer so naive as to believe that his return – because he _had_ to come back – would turn the tide of the war.

They would still be losing, people would keep on dying and planets be destroyed. Truthfully, it had been far too long since they last made a real attempt to defeat Haggar’s Empire. While their soldiers kept on dying, her army seemed to remain unchanged, without mentioning how many worlds had fallen after being deprived of their quintessence or the robeasts she unleashed idly on whatever people had the misfortune to trigger her contempt.

It had been a sad day when he had understood that there would be no end to the war, that he was doomed to prevent that infection from spreading out across the galaxy. Freedom was but an unrealistic fantasy at this point and they only took up arms to keep the few ignorant worlds out of her reach.

Lance would never see his family again.

They would always portray him as the silly boy who had run away from school and likely died without saying goodbye. And in spite of knowing that; he was meant to wander space aimlessly with people who once had the potential of becoming his second family, was bound to fight with strangers in an endless war, was sentenced to die as a poster soldier for a cause he no longer believed in.

He had killed the boy he had been to become the adult he was today.  

Really, it was just sad and his younger self would be disgusted. After all, who aspired to become a recluse who cut himself off from his friends?

Wasn’t he the boy who desperately wanted to prove himself?

Now an army officer, he understood that it had not been worth it. All his efforts, all his dreams, everything that had made him who he was… all useless. Reality tasted all the more bitter.

And here was Lance a General, he spat within the safety of his mind, a resentful soldier who could not be close to those he held dear and was reduced to small talk with them. A drowning wreck whose entire focus was limited to numbers, ratios, casualties and how to best use their remaining squads. A terrified man who could not look at the person he loved and had decided that severing his bonds would dull the pain _(it did not_ ). A mere child who mourned his friends and family but would not show it, even to himself.

War did that for you.

War broke you before it reshaped you into a pathetic husk of your former self. It was ugly, messy, did not spare anyone, and worse, it changed people. Lance had grasped this fact when his best friend died attempting to save another. It was only then he realized that all his friends – hell the Universe – were on borrowed time, that their lives were already forfeited as soon as they entered this war.

Their Voltron family was broken in grief and each death crushed them even further.

Nima. Rolo. X’eo. Even Acxa whom he had liked regardless of his decision of staying away from Lotor’s little gang – and, jeered the voice, it was not as if Keith and her had been so alike that it had hurt. Eldris. Cor-

He stopped himself before he tumbled down a path he was not prepared to face.

Yet, when did reality wait for him?

* * *

 

Everything came to an end that “night” when an unknown, rickety ship was allowed to dock in Red’s hangar - monitored and opened since Keith went missing in case he needed medical care when he came back. And just like that, the dying spark of hope in his heart burst anew and left him nervous and light-headed, a giddy mess who did nothing to wipe out the small smile spreading on his face.

Allura was already there with the Black and Green paladins when he stepped in and walked over to her, limping heavily on his right leg. As he slid between his Queen and his leader, his grin was matched and a small crowd gathered behind them among which the Tactician twins – Obirak and Anak - who contrary to the Blade’s MO had been staying on the Castle ever since that fateful meeting.

Nevertheless, Lance did not care for them thus why he quickly tuned out the excited murmurs and gave his full attention to the old ship disrupting their routine and found himself focusing on Narti’s stiff form.

Retrospectively, the wait and Red’s absence should have been enough but, well, Lance in denial, right?

When princey Lotor climbed down, both Allura and Shiro had lost their grins with Matt’s scowl even more marked. Lance unsurprisingly straightened up and stood oddly for a moment looking for Keith’s presence somewhere in the insides of the small ship.

He frowned when he found nothing and stared blankly at the man crossing the hangar. The question was on his lips yet he closed his mouth nonetheless since he knew that Lotor was unlikely to answer him. He stilled his resolve to not react to the cutting barbs about to be tossed - if one was to believe Shiro and Matt’s grim expressions and the hush that descended over the crowd, he was not the only one who thought so.

It was no secret that Lotor never missed a chance to spite him and would indulge in his inclination to belittle him every time Keith was not there to see it. Even on his death bed Lotor would thrive on hurting people which explained why he was not prepared to be utterly ignored.

Lance blinked in astonishment when Lotor stopped in front of Allura and before he could quash the impulse, Lance was already glancing at Shiro whose expression shifted from cold to icy and unapproachable.

He whirled on the prince, suddenly frightened as the realization dawned on him. And when the other’s appearance only partially registered before, he now became aware of his poor state and Narti’s quiet fretting behind him.

Her hand seemed undecided whether to hover over the deep gash on his left shoulder or the bloody skin uncovered where his clothes were ripped. Large stripes of black fabrics had been torn off to dress the numerous slashes on his body and his left sleeve was now a sling round his arm. Everything about him was dirty, his hands stained with purple had smudged blood across both his cheeks and even if the bleeding had mainly stopped leaving dried blood in its wake, the large stab wound was swollen, the writhing black mass oozing yellowish pus as a terrible stench clung the air surrounding him.

More important than that, more important than the dishevelment, filth and unwashed hair making him look like a rabid dog, more important than his scar inflamed despite having been there for years, more important than that was Lotor’s broken eyes when Allura put a comforting hand on his unhurt shoulder, her own eyes glistening and hooded as her lips formed a white line on her resigned face.

It was at that exact moment when Lotor pulled himself back together, the tight grip of his right hand on his helmet and his red-rimmed eyes the sole testament of what had happened, that Lance’s world crumbled, everything he had managed to rebuild during those years crashing down, effectively taking everything away from him to never see again.

Fear flooded through his system while the vice around his throat tightened and forced him to gulp great lungfuls of cold air like a drowning man. He pushed back the nausea threatening to overwhelm him and franticly looked around him, his eyes shifting from the other paladins to Lotor and Narti to those behind him and the Blades striding off in the direction of the rear exit.

He did not pay attention when Allura and Narti stepped closer to Lotor, the former’s voice a soothing balm to ease their pain. Nor did he pay any attention when Shiro took small steps towards the man and asked a question, his gaze deceptively calm and steady. Grief only met grief and his answer was a shake of white hair, Lotor muttering something about transmission being hacked and a base too heavily armed.

Lotor pulled back when Allura touched his hand and clamed up, shifting his weigh towards Narti who slowly nodded her head in agreement before she went over the soldiers and civilians in the room. Gradually, the crowd drifted away and they were left alone.

Keith would not come back.

After so many weeks spent denying every piece of evidence hinted at Keith being dea-… at Keith being unable to roam around the Castle, it was now the moment to accept it and start a new mourning period – one day, they could not afford to waste more time.

Unfortunately, Lance never knew how to let go. It was a reflex nurtured by years spent among siblings and younger cousins when one had to stand one’s ground and protect one’s toy from tiny hands. It had been one of the first thing his brother had taught him because “seriously Lancey you can’t let ‘Nica and Lizzy take your toys anymore!”. It was quite amusing how every McClain child was instructed this playground rule – “share your toys but keep a close eye on your favourite if you wanna see it again” – and how its meaning would systematically change from “toys” to “family” and eventually to “friends”.

So, and despite his best attempts, Lance had never learnt how to let go - no matter how many times he had tried to ignore the crippling pain he felt at the thought of his lost friends or tried to distance himself from those he still held dear to never feel that way ever again.

“Where is he?”, his voice shook as he did not dare pronounce Keith's name for fear it would make it more real. Next to him, Shiro looked at him worryingly though he did not speak up.

Lotor flinched, remained silent and merely titled his head towards the door silently prompting Allura to follow him outside as per usual for them. Keith and Lotor would give her a more detailed account of their mission (something that could not be done via screens) after what she would forcefully lead them to the infirmary before giving her own report to the Council.

Except, Keith was not here.

Since their last row one year ago, Lance had not taken Lotor’s bait nor had he provoked the prince as he used to when the Galra first arrived; Keith’s anguish expression so deeply engraved in the paladin's mind that he could not bring himself to want to make the other angry. However, he would not back down, not when it concerned one of his teammates, one of his family.

And God, Keith had been his. Lance might have tried to deny it, stifle those beautiful feelings that would only bring pain and put as much distance between them as he could but it did not mean that Keith had not been his. His to observe, his to silently cherish and his to protect.

Keith whom he had failed just like the others before.

“Where is he?!”, he marched over them before they could leave the room. Brushing aside the sharp sting in his bad leg, he took great relish when Lotor hissed in pain after having his shoulder yanked by Lance.

The Galra jerked back and glared at the Blue Paladin like he wanted nothing more than to see Lance dead.

“Lance, please, now is not the time.”, Allura put a strong hand on his chest and forced him to step back, dropping Lotor’s arm.

“Why? What does he have to say that can't be said here?”, he asked her before turning back to the other soldier, “Where’s Keith?! What happened out there?! Is he okay?!”

Keith he would never see again.

“Calm down, Lance”, Shiro was at his side having left the comfort of Matt’s presence to put a steady hand on his shoulder – it likely was an attempt to convey support but between him, Allura, Matt’s pitiful stare and Lotor’s scorn Lance had the impression of suffocating. His head was pounding, panic pumped in his heart as his vision zeroed on Lotor’s figure and the empty place at his left.

Keith’s place.

Lotor was supposed to protect him where Lance could not.

The rational part of his brain told him to listen to Allura and let Shiro lead him to his room however the greater part of him hurt. It was bitter, furious and so utterly destroyed that it demanded a scapegoat to blame. The weeping naive child he had buried and covered up with layers of denial and self-hatred was stirring at the back of his mind, selfishly insisting that they should suffer just like he did.

He elbowed Shiro, bypassed him and Matt who merely crossed his arms over his chest, frowning at him. Narti was too far away to do something and even if she were not, she was clever enough to know it would be in vain. As time went by Lance had filled in and although not as buff as the Black Paladin he was a force to reckon with, his arms powerful and his aim good enough to compensate for his leg.

“Where the fuck is he?! Answer me! Did you leave him alone? God help me, if you left him on a remote planet or worse, between the Galras’ hands I gonna kill you!”, he snarled because Keith deserved to be with them and not lost on some nameless planet.

Lotor was looking down at him with an empty expression, having wiped off all his pain from his features. Lance gritted his teeth and clenched his fists as he battled against the desire to grasp the other by his hair and wrench the long braid he had seen Keith put there.

If goddamn Lotor had managed to stay alive with a mere fighter jet then the Red fucking Paladin should have had no problem!

“What happened in the Epsilaz sector?! Our spies spoke about an explosion! You weren’t supposed to engage in any fighting! What happened to Keith? He’s one of the best and there’s no ship faster than Red so _what did you do_?”

Lotor’s arm whipped out pushing him away and he realized with a start that he had unconsciously grabbed it once more, pulling at it angrily. Pressing his lips together, he only spared Lance a scathing glare before he turned back to where Allura was waiting for him by the door. Lance followed him.

“So that’s it? You won’t speak!”, he gestured wildly towards Shiro, “We deserve to know!”.

For whatever reason, it was at that moment Lotor snapped, losing his patience at the constant questioning and throwing the helmet tucked under his good arm on the floor so hard it broke, he took two steps towards Lance, until the latter was nearly under him. Then, with his eyes a thunderous cloud and the scar running from his left temple down to the length of his cheek so darkly distorted his face was unrecognizable he growled, “Do you love so much the sound of your voice that you do not know how to shut up? How about stopping shouting and letting the grown-ups alone since, as you can see, there are some important things we need to discuss?”, he shifted his imposing frame like a snake gearing for a vicious bite, “Did you think that your screaming would impress me? You look like a motherless babe being forcefully weaned! Let us be clear, Lance McClain of Earth, you do not deserve anything right now and I certainly owe you nothing.”

“And what can be said about you?!”, Lance said nastily with his legs bent, his centre of gravity lowered and his body ready for a fight. “What can be said about the git who refuses to give us any explanation about Keith! Cut out the dramatics!”

“As if you care.”, Lotor scoffed mockingly, at Allura’s warning glance he backed off.

Lance was thankful for Matt’s intervention, not sure if he would have been able to hide his wince otherwise.

“He’s not wrong, you know. As Paladins, we deserve to know what happened to Red”, and okay Lotor’s glowering eyes were justified.

Lance knew without having to look back that Allura’s scowl was mirrored on Narti who had decided to stay near Lotor’s wreck – perhaps checking if there was any clue about what had caused the explosion. Shiro who caught up with them was also pulling a face, his serious eyes drilling into the back of Matt’s head.

“Paladins, doing this here may not be the best idea. We need to calm down!”

“Doing what here?! We haven’t done anything because of Lotor!”

“You have to admit Allura, the situation isn’t what we’re used to. You can’t keep us from this. It’s not a simple report between you and your team but something that needs to be treating carefully. Here, at the bridge or even in your room, it doesn’t change anything.”, Matt stopped to look over Lance and for a second there was a sad, soft glint in his eyes, “Keith’s absence is… regretful however we must act quickly if we want to save what can be saved. Red-”

“You don’t know that! Keith could be fine!”, _dead, dead, dead, never seen again_. “Perhaps Lotor is the one responsible for Keith’s delay and that’s why he’s keeping silent”, even to his ears he sounded edgy.

“Keep your calm.”, Shiro first stared at him sternly then focused his attention on Matt, a clear warning painted on his features. A muscle flexed in the smaller man’s jaw while Lance glared back at him with his brows furrowed, the line between them more pronounced than ever. At Allura’s side, Lotor glared daggers at them with a disgusted tilt to his lips before looking away, his knuckles white as his fingers dug into the flesh of his palm.

“Don’t tell me what to do!”, surrounded by those miserable faces and the pressure of not knowing Keith’s whereabouts, Lance was fast losing any sense of restraint hence his reaction when Matt opened his mouth, “And you even less! It was an easy mission; there shouldn’t have been any problem! Why are you here?! You should be with him! Answer!”, he rounded on Lotor through gritter teeth, “Does he mean so little that you won’t give us any explanation?”

Shiro drew a sharp intake of breath as the exact moment Allura bristled a little and Lance was aware that he went too far however he had no regret. Why should he be the only one struggling with his emotions?! He knew he had won the battle when Lotor fully faced him and raised his hand to stop Allura from giving him a piece of her mind.

He stepped back into the room and for the first time since the beginning of this parody of a meeting, the world was limited to the both of them.

“That’s rich coming from you. If you valued him so much, where were you when he needed help?”, even though his voice reminded Lance of a cold blade sharp enough to pierce a heart, his eyes flashed with fury, the power behind them matching Lance’s own anger and his remark died on his lips. “And before you cut me off, I am not talking about the mission but about all the times we were aboard and you blissfully ignored him. You keep blaming me – all of you, in fact, or did you forget that I can _smell_ strong emotions? –, telling me that I abandoned Keith and demanding a report whereas you never bothered before-”

“Things’ve changed!”, it was different now that Keith was past tense. _No!_

“-as if I were a soldier under your command which I am not. So let me ask you a question.”, Lotor spoke louder and strode toward him until Lance could feel his breath on his face. “Who gave you the right to come at me with those accusations? What right do you have to judge my friendship with Keith when I was one of the few who bothered to pay him attention?!”

“We care!”

“And because of that I should overlook how you hurt Keith?”, the Galra soldier snorted, his scornful glare shifting from one paladin to another as if he wanted to make sure his message was conveyed. “Isn’t it interesting to notice that even now, you only show your _care_ when he cannot see you? And isn’t it even more relevant to notice that even in your worry you think first about what _you_ deserve,” he hissed regardless of Allura calling his name disapprovingly.

She had moved too and on her way to Matt, she clasped Shiro’s metal arm consolingly. Now rooting Matt in his spot with one hand on his shoulder, she looked downright mutinous yet seemed to have come to terms with the fact that nothing would make them budge and that this conversation was happening no matter what. Unlike Matt, Lance had nothing to dissuade him from decking Lotor and his fingers were itching, tempting him to give up fighting the urge to do so.  

They _did_ care!

“You make it sounds like we mistreat him! Why do you think we’re here? We’re looking after him because that’s what we do!”

“Please! You would not recognize what a good teammate looks like if their picture was in front of you! The Blue Paladin, famous sharpshooter of Voltron who never misses his target, Head Strategist and General of the Voltron Realm. I give you that, but keeping track of someone and criticizing their every move do not make you a good teammate!"

“I advised him because he kept on being injured!”

“Keeping him on a tight leash, that is what you did! You wanted nothing to do with him but you were unwilling to let him free! You tortured him!”, Lotor roared and Lance choked on his words as they left his mouth, his voice full of emotion for it could not be possible. _He did not-_

“I’m just a concerned teammate!”

“No, you are not! I am! Keith is my teammate! Mine! I am the one who lost his friend!”

 _What th-_ , There was a rustle of clothes and Shiro’s head poked out at his side. From the corner of his eye, Lance saw both the grief the older was trying to conceal as well as his troubled expression at Lotor’s words. Lance squinted his eyes and scanned Lotor’s face looking for something, anything unveiling that Lotor was joking.  

“Are you hearing yourself?! He’s not a freaking object you can own!”, the Cuban screeched in disgust.

“Did not help you from having a fit of jealousy.”, Lotor appeared unready for his own snide remark and the others gaped at him as Lance lost his voice.

Suddenly, it was as if his supply of air was cut off and it got worse when Allura touched his back. He looked at her over his shoulder, his disbelief evident when she did not seem caught off guard. Lance had been in enough battle to know what a kick in the abdomen felt like and was aware that it would have had the same effect on his respiration.

“Do not look too surprised. It was quite evident when one knew where to look,” Lotor shook his head and the softness round his eyes disappeared as he stilled his features, “Voltron is no more and the so-called team you are preaching about? A mere masquerade. I do not know what your problems were back then and really, I could not care less but it affected Keith and thus it became my business. What Keith _deserved-_ “, his voice broke at that, the Galra paused to compose himself and wasn’t it heat-wrenching to hear him speak of Keith like he was something from the past, to have that horrible reality so painfully spelled that he could no longer close his eyes?

Lotor carried on, “What Keith deserved was teammates who did not turn a blind eye on his suffering, he deserved to know that his own needs would not always come after others’”, at that he side-eyed Matt and Shiro. “All things considered we’re lucky that it worked on the others but… well, Lance is not really the perfect picture of health.”

“Lotor, that’s enough! I won’t stay still if all you want is to badmouth my paladins!”, Allura warned from her position nearly hugging Lance's right side, making sure not to put pressure on his leg. Lance did not have any strength left in him to feel upset.

It was the nightmare he had been running from for years. Lance had always been careless as a child which was why he had spent so much time, had put so much effort to muzzle the desperate part in him that still believed that he could grow old with Keith.

Except that, apparently, everybody knew. A numbing fear flew through his blood as he realized that Keith might have-

No. It did not change anything. It was too late anyway.

“Things need to be cleared up, Allura. Frankly, it should have been done a long time ago but we were too coward to face it – or maybe I was too selfish and wanted to keep him for myself?”, he lost some of the tension in his posture as he mused and now that his spine no longer looked like it would snap any second, he sounded calmer. “In any case, I apologize for my rudeness but Shiro _did_ fail the team however he was _not_ the only one.”

And Shiro who would not even defend himself, too busy watching the Blue Paladin worryingly. He stepped forward but stopped when Allura shook her head. For the first time in a long while, Lance saw him unsure where to proceed.

“And Keith and you had no part in that, obviously.”, contrary to them Matt had no qualms and was watching Lotor with a narrow-eyed stare of contempt. Shiro finally decided on a slow, hesitant nod in his direction before turning his focus on the other men.

“Just like your hate against every Galra descendant had no impact on the cohesion of Voltron. Obviously.”, he shrugged unbothered now that he was done. He glanced at Allura showing that he was ready to heed her orders. He dipped his head and looked at the forgotten exit, “Shall I?”

She released Lance gently and he noticed sadly that there was no lingering sense of familiarity, just the plain feeling of being empty. She squeezed his hand affectionately one last time before dropping it and following the former prince, “You may.”

Just as Allura walked out the hangar and Lotor was about to do so, Shiro’s voice rung strongly yet softly in the silent room, “…We were his teammates.”

“No, you were not,” was Lotor’s simple, immediate answer. He stepped out, quickly followed by Narti, leaving behind him the remaining paladins alive but pale, broken and oh so alone.

Perhaps it was better like that.

**Author's Note:**

> [Come say hi!](http://catabase-two-point-oh.tumblr.com/)
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> As usual kudos and comment if you want!
> 
> \- It's not the chapter I promised, like, 3 months ago (that one is still left on the side for when I can go back to it and correct what needs to be) buuuut it's better than nothing!... I think? Hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> \- So, I looove Matt and writing him like that was so hard buuuut it was decided from the start that Crunch!Matt would be bitter and yeah shit happened... They're all messed up if it wasn't clear enough.
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> \- Not joking, this story should be entitled "Lance and Lotor's peacock fight". Not that they would want to have something in common.  
> In this 'verse, Keith was totally "???" and "bro u need to chill" the hell of Lotor xD


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